“You’re pushing through your arms again.”
I clenched my fists together and growled at the floor. “I don’t know what that means.”
“Get your shoulders away from your ears. Push through your core,” I looked up at my trainer, who was trying to do a vertical demo of what I was supposed to be doing on the mat.
“There is no way my form can be that off! I know how to do a freaking plank!” I rolled to one side and came to a seated position on the floor.
My trainer—who is a much calmer person than me—gave one last attempt to explain what he was trying to tell me. “Look. Every moment you do, you push through your arms. It’s like your comfort zone. And it’s preventing you from using every other muscle in your body.”
Now that, was something I could understand.
I wrote this post two weeks ago, but I could not bring myself to publish it. Last week, my friend Maranie came to stay with me. When she left Friday night, I returned to find a small frame sitting on my kitchen counter. This is what it said:
Stepping out of your comfort zone builds resilience. It’s no different than cooking meals from scratch, or trying a new workout—it just gets easier with practice. Once you move away from your comfort zone (and live to tell the story) you find that whatever intimidated you isn’t so bad.
I’ve also found that what exists beyond my comfort zone, is typically the thing I want most.
I’m going to tell you something, and it kills me to admit it. [It’s the reason it took me two weeks to publish this post.] Part of me absolutely hates writing in this blog. It makes my stomach turn every time I hit publish. Each time I load a new post into WordPress, a voice inside me says, “This is stupid. No one is going to read this. Actually, you should pray no one reads this because they’re going to think you’re either weird or an absolute moron.” I am completely self-conscious someone will think, “Who the hell does this girl think she is, and what exactly is her point?”
I deal with that voice every day. Charming, isn’t it?
So why did I start a blog? Because fuck that voice, that’s why.
I wanted to launch my own site for roughly…three years before I bought the URL. To this day, I cannot tell you why. I knew I wanted to write down my thoughts. I knew I wanted to make people happy. The whole battle plan ended there.
When I finally got the nerve to take this site off construction mode, it wasn’t because I was ready. There simply came a point when I wanted to have my own site so badly, I had to publish it just so I could stop thinking about it.
Last week, I wrote we procrastinate things we enjoy, because we actually give a f. Those same things are the things that give us anxiety. They lie outside our comfort zone, and you’ll never know what could have been unless you breach it.
My high school track coach used to tell me, Never say ‘I wish I would have.’ Even if the only people who stumble across this URL are my friends and family, I’m still happy I have it. I wish I would have launched three years ago, but I cannot tell you the relief I felt when it went live.
If you want to build your own bakery, launch your own seminar, write your own column, or create your own business—stop torturing yourself and at least try. If you don’t try, you’ll keep living in this gray area of not knowing.
When you stay stuck in your comfort zone, it prevents you from using every other muscle in your body.