Can we just have an open, honest conversation about having no fucking clue what to do with ourselves? About losing control of our days? About having seventy things on our to-do lists and being unable to accomplish any of them?
Right now, I have 57 things I want to be doing. I want to type three blog posts because I haven’t written since New Years Eve. I want to tie-up a few loose ends at work. I want to not feel compelled to tie-up those loose ends, because it’s a Saturday and I shouldn’t be working anyway. I want to finish a website I was supposed to work on a year ago. I want to take the same stack of mail I’ve been carrying around in my bag for a week straight and march into UPS and finally fucking mail it already.
I want to feel in control of my own head, which seems to be split in one bagazillion directions.
Sometimes, days just suck.
Yesterday, I sat in front of my work computer typing 90 words a minute blatantly crying. I didn’t skip a beat on the document I was working on, but the tears ran down my face as I did it. That is the day I had.
I think what got me going was how out-of-control I truly felt. I felt like the day was running me, instead of me running it. Make sense? It was as though each task was chasing after me, instead of me striking it off my to-do list.
If I wanted to, I could write about how to best tackle your day. Or how to stay optimistic. Or how to organize your thoughts, storage close, love life, or any other topic that’s been covered roughly ten thousand times on the internet. If you’re that interested, give me four seconds to pull up seventeen different articles saying the exact same thing.
You and I both know how we should be.
We know what it takes to be organized. We know how to be cheerful. We know we should never check Instagram or email before we get out of bed. We know we should never, every cry in the office.
Every single person on this planet—if they have read any Buzzfeed article ever—knows what it takes to efficient, happy, and successful. And that doesn’t stop any of us from having days spent crying on the bathroom floor.
Here is what it comes down to: You will have bad days. You will be emotional. You will fuck up. It does not matter that you know better. And that is ok.
If you are lucky, you will have someone close to you—a coworker, friend, older brother, the random homeless person at Whole Foods who always tells you to smile more (thanks homie)—who is there to remind you of the lessons you already know. They will be there to kindly remind you that you ARE a badass, that you DON’T suck at your job, you DO have your shit together, and you CAN go back to eating healthy tomorrow. They will be there to recite the lessons you already read roughly 87 times in Forbes. You just had a day when you forgot.
The bad days won’t stop, but you have people there to get you through it.
Everyone has bad days. You will continue to have them, no matter how wise you become, from now until the rest of your life. And one day, the best friend who sweetly reminded you that no, your bathroom rug is not a pillow, will find herself in the exact same position. That is the day when you take the reins, and return the favor.
We will learn the same lessons over and over again, hopefully with increasing time between. The bad days won’t stop, but you won’t stop having people there to get you through it.